


Christmas Confessions.

by thesameoldfairytale



Series: Just Know That I (Still) Want You. [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Christmas fic, Fluff, Getting Together, I still chose mature, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, You Decide, Yuri's POV, this could probably be rated teen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 22:52:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13133886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesameoldfairytale/pseuds/thesameoldfairytale
Summary: With all of his friends out of town, Yuri only had one option if he didn't want to spend Christmas Eve on his own in his dark apartment. He knew he shouldn't see William anymore but since Otabek was with his girlfriend, Yuri convinced himself that being with a guy who didn't really care about him was still better than being alone with his own thoughts. When Otabek suddenly called him, Yuri quickly changed his mind.





	Christmas Confessions.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [happymaybe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/happymaybe/gifts), [Cherry101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry101/gifts).



> This is for my girls She & Cherry who have made the YOI/Otayuri fandom such a fun and loving place for me to be in. I love you, ladies! <3
> 
> I wrote this in like two hours and only proof-read it once. It's unbeta'd, so if anyone finds anything that's majorly wrong or doesn't make any sense whatsoever, give me a shout and I'll try my best to amend it. For now though, please enjoy! :)

This year Yuri spent Christmas Eve in one of the most luxurious, yet extremely overpriced hotel suites he had ever set foot in. It wasn’t necessarily what he had hoped for but it was still better than spending the holidays alone.

Victor and Yuuri had gone to Japan to visit the Katsuki’s, Mila had jetted off to Italy to be with Sara, and even Yakov and Lilia had rushed out of town to enjoy the snowy Alps in Switzerland during their Christmas break. All of them had practically begged Yuri to join them but he wasn’t that keen to be a third wheel for anyone, especially not when the one person he wanted to be with wasn’t actually with him as well.

When William had texted Yuri and told him that he would be in town for work, Yuri hadn’t thought twice about going to see him. Having adequate sex with a guy he barely knew but had shared a bed and other things with more often than he would like to admit, still sounded more appealing than being left sulking on his own at home.

Sex with William never lasted long, so Yuri wasn’t surprised when William fell asleep literally the second he had finished, probably not wasting a single thought about whether or not Yuri had reached his climax as well. It was basically what Yuri had grown used to and he had come to expect nothing more than what William offered - which was fast, rough sex purely aimed at relief.

Looking over briefly to see William lying on his back, snoring away evenly already, a brief rush of self-contempt overcame Yuri.

When Yuri had met William over eight months ago, it was instant attraction… and the desperate need to forget. Yuri knew he had the tendency to overreact when he heard things he didn’t want to hear or when people did things he didn’t want to know about. The night he had run into William at the club, Yuri wanted to distract himself. He was only after one thing, quick and anonymous sex, something to take the edge off.

He would have never imagined that he would still be seeing William as his little something on the side almost a year later. 

But Yuri didn’t even mind that much.

William was tall, or at least taller than him, had dark black hair styled in an undercut and he had large, brown eyes that would probably be very easy to get lost in - not that Yuri ever had a chance to find that out. William drove fast, fancy cars, spoke three languages and he was a successful DJ. 

He was everything Yuri admired and wanted in a boyfriend, except for one tiny thing.

William wasn’t Otabek.

Yuri was used to the whispered promises of love and affection, neither of which he ever got from William. He had realised quickly that all William wanted was someone to warm his bed when he was in St. Petersburg. There were others, probably at least one in every city William’s job took him to. At first it had bothered Yuri but he adapted very fast.

He knew how pointless it was to ask for more than William was willing to give. Yuri was familiar with the rules, with the lies and the deception. It wasn’t new anymore and Yuri had sworn to himself many times that he would just ignore William’s messages the next time his phone would chime with a new text notification. 

Yuri still answered those messages to this day.

It was a clear night sky outside, the stars shining through the large windows when Yuri thought about why he was in the situation he was in and how he had gotten there in the first place.

When Otabek had told him out of the blue that he started seeing someone, Yuri hadn’t been prepared for the heartbreak that would follow. He had always sensed that there was more, something that went way beyond friendship. He just had not known what that feeling was until it was too late.

Yuri had never had the courage to speak up, to tell Otabek how much it hurt him to see the regular instagram posts of Otabek with his arm around his girlfriend. At some point Yuri had deleted the app, sparking concerned and curious questions from everyone around him but Yuri had said he was just tired of social media.

Victor had picked up on it first, noticed that something wasn’t right. He had talked to Yuri, asked him if he was doing okay and what was going on. Then Yuuri had cornered him one day and pointed out how quiet Yuri had grown. Mila had said how weird it was that Yuri suddenly seemed so  _ grown up _ but it wasn’t until Yakov, the one person Yuri could rely on to leave him alone about personal things, called him to his office one day after practice to ask him if something was on his mind. 

Everyone had known, everyone had figured out that something was wrong with him. Yuri himself however had only gone silent. 

Every new snapchat or facebook check-in from Otabek about his girlfriend drove Yuri into the arms of William. 

None of what Yuri was doing was planned. It wasn’t like William could replace Otabek in any way. It was just a way for Yuri to not feel as lonely as he normally did, especially over Christmas. With his grandpa now dead and all of his friends out of town, Yuri would have gone crazy on his own in his apartment. 

He would pick expensive champagne, good food and sex with a good-looking guy over staying home any day. At first he had enjoyed the sex immensely. William’s physical similarities with Otabek made it easy to pretend that he was actually sleeping with Otabek but as soon as William finished, he would roll over and leave Yuri on his own. Sex used to be about one thing and one thing only, to relieve the tension inside Yuri. Sex with William however didn’t even do that for him anymore. 

It just wasn’t enough and it sure as hell wasn’t right.

Whenever they were together, Yuri felt less lonely but he craved so much more, things that William wasn’t able, or willing, to give him. He wanted love and affection, small forehead kisses, romantic dates and exciting surprises, things Yuri never knew he longed for but when he thought about doing these things with Otabek, he was physically aching for them. 

William made all of these promises, told him he would take Yuri around the world, to his gigs in Vienna, New York and Sydney, on exotic holidays and to prestigious award shows but Yuri knew better. He didn’t expect anything anymore. He knew by now what he had signed up for. It didn’t mean that it made the whole mess any more bearable though.

Yuri sat up from the bed and supported himself with his hands on the edge of the mattress as his head fell forward in exhaustion and helplessness. He had wanted to end things with William so many times before but something always held him back. If he didn’t even have him anymore, Yuri wouldn’t have anyone.

He was rubbing one of this hands over his tired eyes when he saw his phone blinking. Yuri had put it on mute right before he had knocked on the hotel room door earlier. 

His whole body was sore and aching, hurting him when he leaned over to grab his phone from the bedside table. He could basically still feel William’s fingers digging into his hips from when he had roughly grabbed Yuri from behind not half an hour before. 

Yuri checked the notification and much to his astonishment found a whatsapp text from Otabek.

_ Where are you, Yura?? _

There were no missed calls or any other messages from Otabek and Yuri didn’t quite understand the urgency that the two question marks seemed to hint at.

Actually, they hadn’t even spoken to each other in over week. Yuri and Otabek had been friends for years now. They used to talk daily, be it through texts, phone calls or skype calls. When Otabek had started dating his girlfriend, their communication gradually suffered along the way. First it started with less skype calls as Otabek was too busy with skating and a significant other. Then even the phone calls became less and less until they eventually only texted once or twice a week. Those texts had turned into mindless chatter and smalltalk as well. They didn’t really talk anymore, the distance between them growing day by day. 

About a week and a half ago, Yuri casually asked if Otabek had plans for the holidays. As it turned out, Otabek had big plans. He was going to officially introduce his girlfriend to his parents and siblings on Christmas Eve which was today.

Perhaps that was the most obvious reason why Yuri leapt at the chance to see William tonight. If Otabek felt comfortable and confident enough to formally introduce his girlfriend to his family, they must be serious and Yuri couldn’t deal with that realisation, at least not on his own. 

_ I’m home. Why? _

Lying wasn’t really Yuri’s strong suit but he figured if Otabek couldn’t see him, he could get away with it and besides, it made no difference anyway. Unless they would video chat, there was no way for Otabek to find out that he was lying as Almaty was a couple thousand of miles away. 

What Yuri didn’t expect was Otabek’s response.

_ Then why aren’t you answering your door? _

Confusion didn’t even begin to cover the whirlwind of Yuri’s thoughts. He had no idea what Otabek was getting at.

When William briefly stirred behind him on the bed, Yuri quickly shot Otabek another text and left the room, quietly closing the bedroom door behind him.

_ What?? _

Yuri had barely taken two steps into the spacious living room of the suite when he saw his phone light up again, only this time Otabek was calling him.

“Shit,” Yuri muttered, completely unprepared to actually speak with Otabek.

His heart began to race instantly. Yuri hadn’t actually spoken to Otabek in quite some time as they hadn’t shared any Grand Prix qualifiers and Yuri had injured his wrist just before the final, resulting in him having had to pull out. 

He knew what the sound of Otabek’s voice normally did to him and he wasn’t prepared for it. Yuri was afraid he would blurt things out he would rather keep to himself. 

Yuri took a couple of deep breaths before he answered the call.

“Hey,” he said as quietly and casually as he could muster.

“Hey,” Otabek answered immediately and just that one word made Yuri’s mind go into overdrive. “Why are you whispering?”

Yuri hadn’t realised that he had whispered but when Otabek pointed it out, Yuri made his way into the bathroom to get some more privacy and to be able to talk as freely and as normally as he could.

“I wasn’t,” he reassured quickly but even over the phone he could feel how Otabek wasn’t convinced.

“Okay,” Otabek said, leaving it at that. “Where are you, Yura?”

Yuri still wasn’t sure why Otabek wanted to know that or why he had called in the first place. He thought Otabek had more important plans for Christmas Eve besides calling him in the middle of the night. 

“Why are you calling me at 2am in the morning?” he asked instead, trying his best not to sound accusing or like he was trying to distract Otabek.

“I’m standing right in front of your apartment and you’re not opening your door,” Otabek said, causing Yuri’s heart to sink to the bottom of of his stomach, “so where are you, Yura?”

Yuri didn’t understand anything anymore. It made no sense for Otabek to be in Saint Petersburg, not today or… ever really. Unlike Yuri, he actually had a family and a partner to spend Christmas with. 

“You’re what?” Yuri couldn’t help but ask, his breathing picking up the pace in an instant, making him think he was going to hyperventilate.

He leaned on the bathroom sink to stare into his own hollow eyes, the green colour of them faded and empty. Yuri imagined he was looking into Otabek’s eyes instead, big and brown, full of love and warmth. It instantly calmed him down.

“I’m at your apartment to see you but you’re not here,” Otabek repeated himself. “Victor said you would be home, so again, where are you?”

Yuri didn’t want to get his hopes up but Otabek sounded concerned, like he was worried Yuri was in danger or just up to no good and getting in trouble, which technically… was true.

“Stay there,” Yuri eventually said, trying to find the strength inside him to face Otabek so unexpectedly. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Wait for me?”

“Of course,” Otabek said without a second to waste.

Yuri hung up quickly. He ordered an Uber and silently went back into the bedroom, picking up his clothes from the floor before sneaking out of the room again. 

In a matter of thirty seconds, Yuri was dressed. His body was still aching but the uncertain excitement in his stomach was more prominent than any soreness could ever be.    


Without one last look back at the person who had left him alone in a hotel room many times before, Yuri rushed to the elevator to get down to the lobby and out of the hotel as fast as his legs would carry him.

A little less than twenty minutes later did the Uber drop him off at his apartment building. Only then did it seem to sink in that he was about to see Otabek, live and in person. They hadn’t seen each other since Yuri’s birthday earlier in the year, shortly before Otabek had started dating his girlfriend.

The thought of Otabek’s other half settled deep in Yuri’s guts as he hurried up the stairs to his apartment on the third floor. Only when he reached the last door that separated him from Otabek did Yuri slow down, his shivering hand on the door handle ready to open it.

As soon as he turned the corner and spotted Otabek sitting on the floor, his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed by his ankles, and his fingers typing away on his phone, Yuri’s heartbeat began to race again. He could hear it thumping away in his ears as his eyes were fixed on the one person he craved so desperately.

Yuri slowly walked up to him. Otabek looked up from his phone just before Yuri came to a halt in front of him, offering him a hand to help him up. When their hands touched, it almost felt like electricity was running through his fingertips.

“Hey,” Yuri then said as Otabek finally stood in front of him and their hands let go of each other again.

“Hey,” Otabek replied, their usual greeting still in place.

“What are you doing here?” Yuri asked, because he had to know. The taxi ride over had been torturous as his mind had gone through a thousand different worst case scenarios as to why Otabek would show up at his doorstep on Christmas Eve. “I thought you had plans with your family? Introduce your girlfriend to them and all, you know?”

Yuri would have bet good money that he was blushing but he could not have cared less, especially because it was Otabek all of a sudden whose cheeks turned pink.

“Yeah,” Otabek said, drawing it out endlessly, “about that… I’m… I’m actually single again.”

It really would not have taken much for Yuri to jump for joy but he managed to held back. 

“Okay,” he said instead, trying so very hard not to sound pleased and delighted, as he waited for Otabek to continue.

“I broke things off yesterday and booked a flight to see you,” Otabek confessed. “It just… didn’t feel right and I realised it actually never felt right with her.”

Otabek looked away to the floor, scratching his neck with one hand while his other hand was buried deep inside his jeans pocket. He avoided Yuri’s eyes on him, clearly feeling embarrassed or… perhaps just shy?

“I don’t get what you mean,” Yuri said when Otabek didn’t explain himself any further. 

“I just… It took a lot of time for me to come to terms with the fact that I was with her just to get over someone else,” Otabek said, suddenly staring at Yuri like what he had just said explained everything Yuri needed to know.

Yuri however, was still entirely lost. Nothing really made sense to him.

“Beka,” he said, “what’s going on?”

“Yura,” Otabek sighed as he moved forward and stepped right into Yuri’s personal space. 

They just stared at each other for what felt like an endless couple of minutes. Yuri felt the goosebumps on his arm rising and the little hairs standing up. He was hyper aware of Otabek’s warm breath only an inch away from his face but he couldn’t turn away from those mesmerising eyes he had remembered earlier when he had looked into the mirror.

When Otabek leaned in even more and one of his hands came up to caress the side of Yuri’s face, pushing a few strands of loose hairs behind Yuri’s sensitive ear, Yuri’s breath got stuck in his lungs. He didn’t notice how his mouth opened slightly or how his cheeks started to glow. 

Yuri didn’t realise that his own hands were reaching out and gently pulling Otabek in by his waist. The only thing he did pick up on was the slight smirk on Otabek’s face when he said, “Stop me if you want to.”

Barely a second passed for Yuri to understand what Otabek meant by that before their lips met in a very slow and very innocent kiss. Yuri’s eyes closed out of reflex as his lips instantly craved more.

All too soon Otabek ended the chaste kiss but he didn’t move away.

“You didn’t stop me,” he pointed out, his fingers threading lightly through Yuri’s golden locks and a small, pleased smile gracing his plush lips.

Yuri couldn’t tear his eyes away from the beauty Otabek so eloquently personified. His hands held on tight to Otabek’s waist as he pulled him in again flush against his chest.

“I didn’t want to,” Yuri admitted before he pressed his lips to Otabek’s mouth once more.

This now, kissing Otabek, the person he had longed to be with for so long, felt so absolutely right that Yuri wanted time to stand still. He didn’t want this moment to end, too afraid that if he stopped now he would wake up. Yuri thought he might go insane if all of this turned out to be nothing but a dream.

As Yuri’s hold on Otabek got more intense, Otabek’s grip in Yuri’s hair became more urgent as well. Yuri leaned into Otabek, desperate to feel more of him now that he could, but after a few more seconds of them making out hungrily, Yuri’s brain suddenly came to life again.

“Hang on,” he said as he reluctantly let go of Otabek completely and took a step back. 

For a few moments Yuri had everything he wanted but he had to make sure it wasn’t just what  _ he _ wanted. 

“What does this mean, Beka?” Yuri asked, lightly brushing his trembling fingers over his still wet bottom lip.

Otabek was mirroring him, the back of his hand covering his lips as if he also had to make sure that this was all real. 

“I had to see you,” Otabek said, his large, warm eyes looking up at Yuri like they never wanted to see anyone else.

“Why?” Yuri asked, an arm wrapping around himself in an attempt not to just rush forward again and indulge in another make-out session with Otabek. “What about your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend anymore, Yura,” Otabek told him again, “and I never really wanted her to be my girlfriend either. I just… I was so hung up on somebody else, someone I was so convinced I never had a chance with that I just tried to… I don’t know… forget?”

For some strange reason, Yuri knew exactly what Otabek meant. He had started to see William at a time when he was upset but he went back to him constantly to do the same thing Otabek had been trying to do. He had wanted to forget.

“Who were you trying to forget?” Yuri asked, already suspecting the answer considering that they had just kissed but he didn’t dare to assume anything. He had to be sure.

“You,” Otabek admitted, taking a couple of steps forward again.

It was obvious how cautious he was, how he hesitated to touch Yuri again while all Yuri wanted him to do was grab him and kiss him senseless.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” Yuri confessed, surprised at how easy the words came tumbling out of his mouth. 

His eyebrows shot up on his forehead in an instant, horrified he had said something wrong, but Otabek’s entire face seemed to break out into one huge smile. 

“You did?” Otabek asked, his voice so low and sexy that Yuri couldn’t help but let out a small, unconscious moan.

He managed to nod a tiny little bit, causing Otabek to smirk even more. “We’re both fools, Yura,” Otabek said, “but you’re my fool now.”

They both instantly rushed forward to close the last gap between them, coming together again in another urgent kiss. Yuri’s arms snuck around Otabek’s neck as Otabek’s own hands grabbed Yuri’s hips. 

It was exactly how Yuri had imagined it in his head over and over and over again. Otabek’s lips were firm but the kiss itself was so soft, so gentle that Yuri felt himself get lost in it. The feeling of Otabek’s tongue invading his mouth drove Yuri crazy, the good kind of crazy.

Otabek gave Yuri everything he had craved to get from William but never got. Just kissing Otabek was more than Yuri had ever dared to hope for.

“Stay with me,” Yuri mumbled between kisses, almost begged, before he dove back in for more as his hunger for Otabek grew by the second.

“I’m done being a fool,” Otabek replied with a small smile on his face, responding to Yuri’s words the only way he seemingly knew how. “Merry Christmas, Yura.”

Yuri reached up to let his index finger ghost over Otabek’s lips, needing to feel how real Otabek was and that he wasn’t just a figment of his messed up imagination. 

Satisfied and happy that Otabek was indeed standing right in front of him, holding him and kissing him, Yuri couldn’t help but grin widely.

“Thanks for the best present ever,” Yuri said, pressing a quick kiss to Otabek’s lips. “Merry Christmas, Beka.”

**Author's Note:**

> Whatever you celebrate this holiday season, or even if you don't celebrate anything at all, I hope 2017 ends a hell of a lot better for you all than it started. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone! x


End file.
